The weekly image developed on the Mac and published on the net

Monday, August 3, 1998------http://www.jps.net/berman ---------FREE

Bruce's Fantastic Voyage:

The B-Files Contest Results

The picture above is a single frame from an approximately 30 minute video of my 1995 hernia surgery. I opted for orthoscopic surgery where the surgeon made 3 small incisions below my belly button. Two holes were for the surgical instruments, shown above, and one for a miniature camera to view inside. At my meeting with the doctor beforehand, I asked if they could tape the operation from the camera's perspective. He said "OK."

The winners of of the contest are:

Category 1- What is it? - with a close guess of

"... it is someone passing a stone." by Sue & Andy Lynn, NY

Category 2 - What it is NOT! - goes to the guess of

"... it looked liked a milkshake maker thing." by Lisa Mullarkey, NJ

Prizes will be sent out soon. Thanks to everyone who played. I hope everyone enjoyed playing and that nobody hates my guts!


from the prisoner within

Emotions in Motion. I have good days and bad days. This past week was a long bad day. Two factors contributed to this. I finished listening to the audio book of the best seller "Tuesdays with Morrie" by author Mitch Albom, of Morrie Schwartz's graceful dying from ALS. It was a great story, but stirred up a lot of emotions and not so pleasant issues like death. I have also had an upset stomach since Wednesday. It started with a new liquid supplement to help gain weight. The nausea comes at all times, even after eating. My appetite has dwindled. Coupled with mixed emotions, my mind got depressed and began thinking negatively. Am I dying? Am I fooling myself, wasting my limited energy and time mentally fighting a downhill battle? Should I stop procrastinating discussions of burial plans, NJ vs CA, cremation or not, etc? What about living on a ventilator? Where did all this come from? I try to think positively but keep a realistic perspective on my body. I have lost range of motion in my neck. When stood up with help and supported, I can usually lock my knees. But this past month my right knee has been giving out. And my biggest problem lately is my constant drooling, (my most attractive symptom), because of my difficulty swallowing. I haven't eaten anything by mouth for over 3 months and real solid food since November. I tried a drug last week, to help dry up the saliva. It kind of worked but dried up my whole body. Made me itch. This too may have added to the nausea and didn't help matters overall, so I stopped after 3 days.

Well, I started this column Saturday and now it's Sunday evening. Today is the first day since Wednesday that my stomach feels better. My mind is relaxed a bit after a good cry (something I don't do enough of) with Cali, Friday night. Those questions above are still with me. I think about them and many others all the time. I will address them at another time. But one thing I can share now that my mind is relaxed is this: I WILL NEVER STOP FIGHTING!

Once again, thanks for listening to my Thoughts.


How would you like to be in THROUGH MY EYES? If so, just email your image of you, your loved one, children, pets, whatever. If you're unable to email, you can send photographs and I will scan them for you. FREE! Or you can send a videotape. Please email for video instructions. If you want photographs or videos returned, please send a SASE. By sending an image you give permission to me to artistically alter, write about the content, and post on the internet.

Contributing Staff:

Editor / Designer..........Daddy on the Mac

Videography.................Cali Mac

Assistant......................Miss Peepers

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